Friday's Oprah (Feb. 15) is a sample-size of Carson Kressley's newish cable series, "How to Look Good Naked." Oprah began by asking, "Who here loves the way they look naked?" and quite a few audience babes stood up to be counted. BTW Carson himself looks better than I remember on "Queer Eye." Every man ought to wear a jacket and tie all the time. Looks so sharp. Anyway, I'm familiar with the show already and it's not about being naked at all. It's about flattering clothes and deep, depressing body issues and tears, which prompted Carson to wail, "Why didn't I do a sitcom?" Having worked on a Lifetime sitcom (briefly) myself, I can pretty much guarantee that if he had, Carson would be on the network's least-watched show instead of its most-watched. It's a reality world these days, let's face it. They got no love for comedy anymore.
The chirpy Carson then pep-talks a woman named Michael (really) who rocks a near-baritone speaking voice. The message is accept yourself, extra lbs. and all. Like the original "What Not to Wear" gals on the BBC, Trinny and Suzannah, Carson accompanies the lady to a hall of mirrors offering 360 views while the bra-and-pantied Michael bemoans NOT looking good naked. But then Carson says something supportive (like "You may not see the skinny girl from 20 years ago, but I want you to see the beautiful woman who's still there"), which is enough to allow him to hug her to his fully clothed chest. I imagine Will is still playing this role Grace even now.
Michael, like pretty much every woman on every makeover show, has a distorted body image and is her own worst critic. The thing that sets the Kressley show apart, though, is the gargantuan underwear photos of his subjects displayed on buildings high above humanity, while below, Carson collects man-on-the-street opinions that are inevitably complimentary to the feminine figure: "Beautiful legs." "Great decollete." Which prompts Carson, channelling Richard Simmons, to holla, "Snaps for the word decollete!" That's the role Jack would play for Grace.
Carson recommends that we all start with positive self-talk, and Oprah offers her own body-embracing affirmation: "It's all good if it's carryin' you around. That's what I say. It's all good if it's carryin' you around."
I'm pretty sure this is the first instance since I've been blogging that Oprah's gone country, She'll do it again, keep watching. I love it when her precise King's English takes a sharp twangin' turn into the backwoods. She did it earlier this week, when she brought up Skinny Cow ice cream. "Luuuuv the Skinny Cow!" This is different from the famous Oprah bellow, which came out with bells on when they got on the subject of foundation garments. "Millions of women I know.... are in need of a major BRAAAAAAAAAA and underwear interven-SHUUUUUNNNN."
Come to think of it, I am too. Now I'm determined to lift and separate with the help of a professional department store fitter, which Oprah seems to agree is essential. Maybe I won't need the Skinny Cow if I'm pullin' up my girls right. Now I'm going country.
The upshot of the show involves each formerly bad-body-image woman posing naked -- except for beaucoup maquilliage and hair extensions, you better know it -- and displaying their King Kong-scale nudity on a Michigan Avenue office building. The experience brought Michael to her "come-to-Jesus" moment. Saved from self-loathing! Self-esteem reinstated! Thanks Carson! Thanks Oprah! Now I'm off to find myself a Bra Whisperer. Let the hoisting begin!
The chirpy Carson then pep-talks a woman named Michael (really) who rocks a near-baritone speaking voice. The message is accept yourself, extra lbs. and all. Like the original "What Not to Wear" gals on the BBC, Trinny and Suzannah, Carson accompanies the lady to a hall of mirrors offering 360 views while the bra-and-pantied Michael bemoans NOT looking good naked. But then Carson says something supportive (like "You may not see the skinny girl from 20 years ago, but I want you to see the beautiful woman who's still there"), which is enough to allow him to hug her to his fully clothed chest. I imagine Will is still playing this role Grace even now.
Michael, like pretty much every woman on every makeover show, has a distorted body image and is her own worst critic. The thing that sets the Kressley show apart, though, is the gargantuan underwear photos of his subjects displayed on buildings high above humanity, while below, Carson collects man-on-the-street opinions that are inevitably complimentary to the feminine figure: "Beautiful legs." "Great decollete." Which prompts Carson, channelling Richard Simmons, to holla, "Snaps for the word decollete!" That's the role Jack would play for Grace.
Carson recommends that we all start with positive self-talk, and Oprah offers her own body-embracing affirmation: "It's all good if it's carryin' you around. That's what I say. It's all good if it's carryin' you around."
I'm pretty sure this is the first instance since I've been blogging that Oprah's gone country, She'll do it again, keep watching. I love it when her precise King's English takes a sharp twangin' turn into the backwoods. She did it earlier this week, when she brought up Skinny Cow ice cream. "Luuuuv the Skinny Cow!" This is different from the famous Oprah bellow, which came out with bells on when they got on the subject of foundation garments. "Millions of women I know.... are in need of a major BRAAAAAAAAAA and underwear interven-SHUUUUUNNNN."
Come to think of it, I am too. Now I'm determined to lift and separate with the help of a professional department store fitter, which Oprah seems to agree is essential. Maybe I won't need the Skinny Cow if I'm pullin' up my girls right. Now I'm going country.
The upshot of the show involves each formerly bad-body-image woman posing naked -- except for beaucoup maquilliage and hair extensions, you better know it -- and displaying their King Kong-scale nudity on a Michigan Avenue office building. The experience brought Michael to her "come-to-Jesus" moment. Saved from self-loathing! Self-esteem reinstated! Thanks Carson! Thanks Oprah! Now I'm off to find myself a Bra Whisperer. Let the hoisting begin!
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